31...

This morning I woke up and read Romans 3. It was a good chapter to read before going back to school this week. It reminded me that we are all sinful people and I can't expect perfection in myself or those around me. It was so good for me to be reminded of this. Romans 3:22b-25a  "For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith."

I'm so thankful for justification and forgiveness. It sure makes living this life better. So, looking at my class, I will begin with my first students. I will refer to her as "I". She is a second grade student that is full of energy and life. She always has a smile on her face, unless of course she is frustrated by math or involved in some sort of drama at recess. She makes me laugh with her little comments during class. I'm glad that she is in my class. Without the dynamic of this giant personality in my class, my class wouldn't be as enjoyable or smiley :-)

31 days and counting...

The Beginning of the End

Tomorrow I go back to school to finish out my first year of teaching my own classroom. It is a bitter sweet feeling to be sure. I never in my life imagined that my first year of teaching would be filled with so much emotion. I have never been more stressed, more joyful, more discouraged, or more blessed than during this school year. I must say, it has been quite the roller coaster. There are many in my life that can attest to this.

Starting this school year I felt pretty confident in my ability to teach. That confidence was soon squashed when I met the parents...haha...school hadn't even started yet and I was already questioning my ability to succeed during this school year. The beginning of the year was so hard. Teaching a split level class as a first year teacher isn't something I would hope for anyone. First year teaching has enough stress on its own, let alone having to worry about two grade levels. That's state standards for two grades that I am accountable for. Granted, as time went on, my co-teacher took over one grade level LA and Math, so that was a load off my shoulders. Also, as a new teacher, Ohio requires a mentorship program to be completed in order to receive a new teaching license. That has been an added burden, a necessary burden, but somewhat of a burden nonetheless. I'll get into that more later.

By the time Christmas came around, I was really discouraged. I was trying to figure out what in the world I was doing. I didn't get answers, but went back to school in January and the whole cycle of progress with students to frustration to discouragement to near depression started all over again. This cycle has repeated several times since January. Right now, I'm at the discouragement stage. Even though I have enjoyed spring break and have taken the time to really rest and take a real break from school, I still feel discouraged and am dreading (just a little) going back tomorrow. I don't know what challenge is going to enter my room. I have 21 students, each student with their own stories, their own hurts, their own struggles and their own unique and amazing personalities. They are full of amazing potential. I let my frustration and discouragement cloud my vision to see their potential. I usually focus on what frustrates me the most about each individual student and let that fester in my mind and my heart. This almost always starts me on a path of impatience, joylessness, frustration, and a teaching style that is not good.

The Teacher Mentorship program requires me to meet with a mentor teacher once a week to discuss goals, frustrations, joys, and anything else that needs to be discussed. However, with this, there is a whole lot of paper work to do that the state requires. I am required to observe two teachers, be observed on several occasions, discuss these observations, and write a lot of stuff down. This doesn't sound like much, but when you consider all the other stuff I am required to do for school, it adds up. It gets a bit frustrating and challenging.

I think I feel most frustrated because I haven't mastered teaching. I love challenges, I live for challenges. But when I can't conquer something, and conquer it quickly and accurately, I get incredibly discouraged and down. When it comes to teaching this year, I feel completely clueless and nearly useless. I often wonder if I'm making any difference or if my students are learning anything! I have thought about changing careers on several occasions this school year. Needless to say, I couldn't let myself do that because I haven't mastered teaching, and honestly, I don't think I ever will. There is always a new technique to use, always something new to do as a teacher. But eventually, it has to get easier. I'm convinced.


So here is my challenge for myself for the next 10-12 school days. I will focus on 1-2 students and their positive qualities and share about that on here. Obviously, I cannot name the student or post pictures, but I can focus on them and what makes them unique, special and full of potential. Maybe this task will change my mindset and my heart about my class and teaching in general. Keep me accountable!

32 days and counting...

Spring Break Day 4

Today, my friends and I are making Honey Lime Chicken Enchiladas (recipe found here : http://www.sixsistersstuff.com/2011/05/honey-lime-chicken-enchiladas.html) LOVE....LOVE...LOVE! I've only made this once before because it takes a bit of planning and time. Once you get the chicken marinaded, it's all pretty easy from there. It tastes so yummy. You should try it sometime. Those six sisters sure know what they are talking about when it comes to food :-)

Earlier today I put lesson plans and grades online, cleaned the kitchen, organized a kitchen drawer, put together a shelf to put my plant on (yay!), and did about 3 loads of laundry. I would call today a successful day.





Here are some pictures of our adventure on Saturday. Orange Leaf Frozen Yogurt is super super good. (Have I mentioned that before? hehe)

Tomorrow, I plan on writing more lesson plans, putting them online, and attacking my room. Hopefully all before my dad get here. It'll be good to see my dad, it's been way too long!

Saving Money and Having Fun

Today, I admit, I read nothing but sale signs and price tags. My roommate and I went to Polaris to window shop. It was a successful adventure without spending money on merchandise until we reached Sears clearance section. They had winter jackets 85% off. So, I thought to myself about my current winter jacket. I've had it for 10 years, it is ripped and a size or two too big. So, for $25 I bought a $200 winter jacket. Quite this steal I think. When I checked out, I was offered a deal to sign up for their credit card and get $15 off this purchase, which would have made this jacket only $10. However, I declined. I know myself well enough to know that if I have another source of credit available to me, it won't be good. I think it was a decent choice overall.

Then we went to Lakeshore Learning Store. It was amazing! I'm so excited to stock up on things for next school year. I have so many things I want to change in my classroom for next year. I definitely plan on going back and picking up things periodically.

Finally, we went to Orange Leaf Frozen Yogurt. It's all self serve. You choose your flavor (about a dozen to choose from) and you get to choose your own toppings, healthy or otherwise. It was a bit pricey, but would definitely recommend it if you have the chance! I chose to get mango and raspberry frozen yogurt with fresh strawberries, kiwi, and boba balls on top. It was soooo yummy! The perfect end to the day of "window shopping" Check it out: http://orangeleafyogurt.com/

So far, spring break is starting off well. Lots of rest and relaxing. I need to start getting lesson plans done though, then more fun and relaxing before I head back to school. Ain't life grand?

Amazing Grace

This morning, I woke up (which is a good thing, I must say!) I cleaned to prepare for the internet guy to show up. Then I sat down and to do some reading. I started off with the book The Valley of Vision. I picked up where I left off, and this is what I read. May it be as encouraging and convicting to you as it was to me.

Amazing Grace

O thou giving God,

My heart is drawn out in thankfulness to thee,

   for thy amazing grace and condescension to me

   in influences and assistances of thy Spirit,

   for special help in prayer,

   for the sweetness of Christian service,

   for the thoughts of arriving in heaven,

   for always sending me needful supplies,

   for raising me to new life when I am

     like one dead.

I want not the favour of man to lean upon

   for thy favour is infinitely better.

Thou art eternal wisdom in dispensations

   towards me;

   and it matters not when, nor where, nor how

      I serve thee,

   nor what trials I am exercised with,

   if I might but be prepared for thy work and will.

No poor creature stands in need of divine grace

   more than I do,

And yet none abuses it more than I have done,

   and still do.

How heartless and dull I am!

Humble me in the dust for not loving thee more.

Every time I exercise any grace renewedly

   I am renewedly indebted to thee,

   the God of all grace, for special assistance.

I cannot boast when I think how dependent

   I am upon thee for the being and every act

     of grace;

I never do anything else but depart from thee,

   and if ever I get to heaven it will be because

     thou willest it, and for no reason beside.

I love, as a feeble, afflicted, despised creature,

   to cast myself on thy infinite grace and goodness,

   hoping for no happiness but from thee;

Give me special grace to fit me for special services,

   and keep me calm and resigned at all times,

   humble, solemn, mortified,

   and conformed to thy will.

(The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions, Copyright 2007)